Nothing new

It was midterms week. I've been so busy with school that this has gone sorely neglected. Not dead though!

Lazy

I've been meaning to write a post about my first physical training session, but I've been way too lazy and busy with my midterms coming up in school. It went fairly well though, so I suppose that's the short of it.

Also, I got the swine flu shot, and the morning after just feels like a massive hang over. And I've never been hung over before. Still better than getting the swine flu, but warning for you all!

Cystic Fibrosis Walk

This Saturday is the cystic fibrosis walk in Santa Barbara, CA! I... I honestly don't know where exactly and what time it starts. I just know my mom is going, and as I live in Santa Barbara, she's trying to convince me that I should sacrifice sleep to go. I feel like an awful person for not going, but I get up at seven AM 4-5 days a week, so the days where I can sleep past seven feel pretty precious to me. She may yet guilt me into it, but I don't think so.

But if you're in the area and actually read this blog, I encourage you to go and show support! I went on one a few years ago and it was actually quite fun, and the weather should be super nice tomorrow. Santa Barbara is a really nice place to live, and I'm so grateful to go to school here. I just breathe so much easier in the sea air- my doctors were so excited for me when they found out I got to go here.

Also, I suppose I'll finally get around to writing that letter for my mom's CF newsletter about life in college and cystic fibrosis. I think after I've survived one year of it, I'm getting a better perspective about managing time and treatments. The first couple of weeks are really hard, but now it's gotten to the point where I can manage and not feel like tugging out my hair. Actually, I've been pretty damn cheerful lately. Yesterday I went frog hunting, and while I garnered a few stares, I didn't much care.

I feel like I always say this...

I'm starting personal training next week! Yes... I've said that about this week and last week, but I'm fairly certain it's for real this time. My parents just need to pay the fees and I can start. It's soaked in rain here, but I guess I can always work inside (boo). I'm not a fan of indoor exercising activities, unless it's too hot/too cold.

The equestrian club thing fell through- the fees were fairly astronomical, and we simply can't afford it at this time. I have to admit to being pretty depressed, but I'm determined to find some way to be around horses and exercise my passion. I just need to have less school work!

What?

I'm MRSA free? For the past two sputum tests?

I am so happy right now.

Biking

Given that it's been three weeks with only biking as my cardio, and before that, I wasn't doing any (yes, yes, yell at me please)... At least I'm getting better at biking to class. I like to go pretty fast, and the first two weeks were pretty brutal. But I can feel myself getting better at it, which is a really, really nice feeling to have.

That's all.

Considerably More Positive

So, I'm once again starting to eat healthier. I've been pretty good so far- lunch is the worst for me! I'm pretty picky, so if they don't have turkey meat for lunch, I can't have a sandwich, and I usually don't like the hot entree... so I typically have burgers and fries. But I try to balance it out with a healthy breakfast. Yogurt with some fresh granola and a power bar. Mmm. I also bought myself pears- delicious! And I try to at least have some salad for dinner, and eat healthier options to balance out the bad lunch. It's not great, but I'm getting there.

I also start with my personal trainer next week. I don't know how I'll fit it into my schedule, but I think I'll be able to manage somehow. I recognize the importance, so, to quote Zombieland, I will "nut up or shut up." I really want to bring my lung function up to where it used to be, and get in shape/tone up while doing it. I really like Jay, the trainer- I think she's going to make exercise finally enjoyable for me. And when she whups my ass into shape, I can move on to doing my own things, and it won't feel like such a drag.

I'm also trying to join the equestrian team. More for my mental sanity than anything else- horses are my 'therapy'. So... here's to trying to be positive?

Those days

Today was a hard day. Well, a hard week, rather. I have classes at nine AM, so I have to get up at seven to do all my medical stuff. I need to eat before I do my med stuff, or else I throw up.

But... the dining commons don't open until 7:15, at which point, I wouldn't have time to eat breakfast and do my med stuff. So eating breakfast gets shafted. Clearly I need some breakfast materials, because I had a fairly epic hypoglycemic "attack", or whatever you want to call it. I thought I was going to faint, but luckily, I seem fairly resistant to that. I also barely had the energy to get to class- I was huffing and puffing and it was not a happy feeling.

So now I'm reading Gives Me Hope and getting all unnecessarily emotional, and really wishing I had something of the soft and fuzzy variety to help me de-stress. I feel like college isn't worth it for me sometimes- it's now more than ever that I feel different from the other kids, and unable to avoid that fact any longer. I just want to get the extra sleep and have the extra time and be able to go out at night and have fun without worrying about treatments and vitamins and feeling worn out from meds.

God, I am a whiney bitch. I should feel lucky that I'm this healthy, but I'm comparing myself to people I have no basis of comparison on.