Endlessly Cheering

I honestly completely forgot about my addiction to National Geographic's WildCam Africa until today... and I am rehooked. From where I am in Los Angeles/Southern California, it's about a 23 hour time difference, so as I write this, preparing for bed, the day is dawning on the savannah. The birds are singing, and it sounds exquisitely different from what you experience here. Two impala are nibbling on a bush, and a baboon tribe are playing and fighting. Birds I can't identify are sunning themselves as a stork pokes around in the shallows. They keep a wary eye out for a croc, but it looks like it's all clear from here. On other days, I've seen elephants stopping for a drink, and the distinctive eye shine of lions at night.

When you stop and think about it, it is pretty damn amazing that I can be watching live footage from an African watering hole and grow sleepy to the sound of birds half a world away. These are places I can only dream of visiting one day, but for right now, I can feel like I'm there. I think this is especially valuable to those of us who can't travel so easily, due to CF or other chronic illnesses.

There are some other cameras as well, but none I watch quite so religiously as WildCam Africa. It must be the zoology nerd in me, but it's so fascinating. I can watch absolutely nothing happen on the camera for hours. Without much further ado...

http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wildcamafrica/

I hope someone gets as much joy out of this as I do.

Paradise

It's so hard to remain depressed here in paradise. On a day like this, I can't help but realize that where I live, right now, is where I want to stay probably for the rest of my life. Right here, in this little area where the beach meets the restored ecological habitat. Red tailed hawk on my balcony and on the roof of my dorm building two days in a row makes me smile. An older man taking pictures of birds and telling me what they are, showing me pictures... how can you not smile? Especially when it's a horned lark, which is an adorable little bird. And his daughter, waiting for him, with an older beagle who jumps up on me and gives me kisses. It is paradise.

Crossroads

For the most part, I've loved having a single dorm room in college, but there are times when I wish I had someone to live with. It's getting to be that time of year when you determine where you'll live for the next school year. Last year it wasn't really an issue- I knew I was going to live on campus in my own room again. This year, however, is different. I don't /want/ to live on campus again. I feel like if I'm going to move on and live an adult life, I should make the transition to an apartment or a house, and live the 'real' life- or at least a softened, college version of it. This is a decision I think all of my friends who are living in the dorms a second year are making as well, and that's where the loneliness sets in. For them, the decision of who to live with and who to search for housing with is easy. They had roommates, and they'll keep the roommates they had. I'm also at the opposite end of the hall, so my friends who have doubles next to each other- easy, they'll just live with each other. They practically do already. But where does that leave me? Trying to find a single, studio style apartment is hard, and they're all extremely expensive. I don't want to share a room, because of my medical needs, so conceivably, I would have my own room, and two friends would share the other room, or one friend. But no one has asked.

In the roomie situation, I do often feel left out. People share secrets with their roomies, and exchange knowing glances. The friends who have doubles next to each other are always gathered in one room gossiping. At the other end of a (long) hall, I feel left out, and out of the loop. I know I'm speaking nonsense, but I just feel so damn lonely, and not as close to the other girls as I would want to be. My best friend here is currently in England, so I'm missing out on that person I could share secrets with and have as close to a roomie relationship as you can have, and my other good friend transferred schools. Am I just pathetic?

Epic Computer Failure

So my computer crashed pretty hardcore on Wednesday (right before I'm going to print out a rather important essay, of course). They initially thought it was a pretty simple problem, but I had to take it into the Apple Store none the less. I was getting stressed, because I have another rather large essay due on Monday I haven't even started that I intended to do Friday, the day of my appointment, but what can you do? My dad came down yesterday around eleven to help me deal with all this computer nonsense, since he knows slightly more than me about all this. It turned out to be very, very lucky he did.

I got into my appointment a little bit early- around noon. I left the appointment at seven.

... I have had better days.

In the end, it involved completely wiping my hard drive clean (I have an external, so the things I lost were mostly pretty minor), and reinstalling all my OS software. At least I got to upgrade to Snow Leopard? And at least... I don't know. I'm still far too tired and frazzled.

Happiness

There's a big meteor shower today. The problem is that it's at 1 AM, and there's no way I can stay up that late what with waking up for school and the cold and the meds always leaving me tired. Even though he knows there wont' be any meteors, my boyfriend has agreed to come with me to come look for them anyway, even though it's really cold out and it's not a short bike ride. :)

So

"Is your ebola better yet?"

Haha, I love my friends. And yes, my 'ebola' is slowwwllly getting better, but I am still going to give myself plenty of pity. I fell off my bike and my knee is all gross now, waahhh.

Otherwise though, I'm fine. I need to stop taking so many naps though. They always leave me feeling a bit like.... out of it.

My congestion needs to clear up so I can start exercising as well. That and my tired-ness. Though I have to say, I'm not really complaining about missing too much.

I had a lovely day on State Street on Saturday. I went by myself and I initially thought I was going to be lonely, but it was such a perfect day, and being right on the water just makes me feel so good (well, I'm right on the water on campus as well, but I was literally on a dock on the water... And thus it feels different). The water was so clear that I could see crabs in water one or two feet deep by the pier. I wanted to run in and grab one, but I thought my cold might not forgive me for that (and I was wearing a dress that I would rather not get covered in sea water).

Onto other matters of me being lazy... I need to start eating healthy again. I made this huge resolution to do, and it failed after about a week. A week is a week longer than usual, but still. There's so much good food that just goes straight to the hips and I'm stuck in this place of 'you only live once' and 'you want to look good'. Meanwhile, my male friends just shovel down tons of food and lose weight. I'm not sure how that works but it isn't fair at all. At least I can eat a somewhat more high calorie diet than my female friends... Not that it seems to stop any of us.

I'm also starting to get the holiday fever. Slowly but surely. I normally don't get it until after Thanksgiving, but it's been blaring Christmas EVERYWHERE and it's just impossible to ignore, unless you never go on the internet, watch TV, or leave your room. Sadly, I like to do all three of those things, so I'm trying to get used to the idea of it being close to that time of year again. I love the holidays, I really do... Just not this early. Maybe it's because I live in Santa Barbara, and it's hard to feel the holiday spirit when you can see the ocean and the sun is out and the weather is nice. It feels like permanent vacation here, and I love it.

In news I'm nervous about... I'm sending an application to the Ben Barnes modeling agency. I seriously doubt I'll get it, but on the same token, I'm still hopeful. Is it foolish? should I even bother? I don't know. Ugh, I need to make a decision, stat!

Getting better

I'm finally getting over this cold. All things considered, it wasn't a particularly bad one, and I don't think it's going to lead to a flare up of my CF, so I'm really grateful. I'm a bit more junky than usual, and I have congestion in my nose, but I can already feel those getting better. I did miss getting exercise, so it's going to be interesting to try and make up for five days of lost hard work, but I feel pretty confident that I can whip myself back into shape (provided that it doesn't rain like the weather man is saying it will!). Getting sick is always a tricky situation for a CFer, and always one that can cause worry and requires monitoring. To that end, I've been at home and not at college these past few weekdays, so I've missed two days of work (today being a holiday). I'm going to have to catch upon that as well, but my teachers have been very understanding about it, and I can hopefully go and talk to them about any work I've missed and what I can do to make up for it.

I never talk about non-CF related things here, do I? Well, little known fact, but I am an avid bookworm. I'm a speed reader as well, so I have a tendency to devour books. This is a good and a bad thing. I tend to go through books way too fast- I've apparently spent around seventy bucks on books at Borders alone since the start of the school year! Our UCSB library doesn't have a great fiction section, so I really should join the Santa Barbara public library, if I can. I know I"ll be begging for gift certificates to book stores this year for the holidays, but I don't know if I can hold out until December. Ahh! I've been slowly rereading various things I have in my library in the hopes that I can stave off the cravings for new literature for a while. I've also got a ton of reading to do this year in my classes, which helps... Though it's all rather dry and tends to put me to sleep more often than not.

I also need to pick up my camera from repair. Hopefully this is the last time I'll need to send it in, but the Rebel is getting old, as far as cameras go. The metal frames used to last forever, but apparently Canon really doesn't care anymore. I look at the quality of photos that my camera used to take when I first got it versus the quality of photos it takes now, and there's a world of difference. The colors are much more dull, the focus isn't as sharp... And I don't think that's my fault. Asking for a new camera for Christmas is a huge thing though, so I know that's something I would have to save up for on my own. I'm also not entirely sure I would want to give canon my money again, but I have the two Canon lenses, so it doesn't really make much sense to go for something other than it... Oh well. I'm sure my camera angst bores just about everyone.

I'm also saving up for riding lessons and joining the riding team this year, though knowing me, I'll blow all my money soon enough.

Hate Mail

No, not hate mail directed at me. This is hate mail directed towards everyone that has contributed towards making me sick for about the third time since I got back to school.

I know the cold season has been particularly vicious this year, and I know that it's not pleasant to miss class and fall behind. Here's the thing though- when you go to our crowded, six hundred plus person lectures, or smaller discussions, or smaller lectures, and you admit (proudly, perversely) that you have a cold or the flu and you're still dragging your ass over, it's not just yourself that's being affected. Furthermore, all the professors and TAs have put it out there numerous times that they're more than willing to help you catch up, just please DO NOT GO TO CLASS SICK. Because of your selfish actions, TAs have gotten sick, and so have other students. YOU'RE spreading the illness- probably some selfish person gave it to you. And for those of us who don't have healthy, strong immune systems, this is a big deal. I'm missing much more school than you are because you decided to pluck your sick ass down next to mine 30 minutes before lecture starts, so that I can't move and find a new seat next to someone who isn't hacking and sneezing on me. I don't want to have to ask you to move, but if this continues, I will DO it. I don't really understand my luck- how do I always get the person who is boasting to their friends that their flu is 'almost over' crowded in next to me ?

In conclusion, stay home, and fuck you.

<3>

Elizabeth